How Far Do You Wanna Go?

“Are you looking for a little more than this hold-you-down broken town. Better leave now or you’ll never know. How far do you wanna go?”

It’s the first day of 2011 and it’s been drunken, sleepless, uncomfortable, fun, irritating, and at this point, seems to be never-ending. But in what has been the longest day of my life (not really), it’s given me plenty of time to reflect on this 365 project and it’s importance. And all that reflection has lead me to this one paralyzing thought :

It’s pretty fucking important.

This thought was followed by the overwhelming feeling of wanting to violently vomit all over my computer screen. I held back that urge and proceeded to really analyze this project. Analyze and plan. Plan and decide. Decide and deal. Let’s break this down, shall we?

Analyze: Why am I doing this? What do I hope to accomplish from it? Have I lost my mind?

I’m doing this because I have this desperate desire to not just be another 25 year old living with his parents and working some dead end job while I watch my life pass me by, then have regrets in my future. I’m hoping that through this, I can learn some discipline and I seriously have hope that I’ll become a better person. My self esteem needs the bump that this would bring. And no, I haven’t lost my mind…well, not my entire mind…although, depending on who you are, you could think otherwise.

Plan: It’s like this. I’ve 12 months, 365 364 days and a whole lotta stuff that I want to do. Of course I’m gonna start off with the most important and the stuff that I know I can complete now. This includes school, getting back in a regular gym regimen, proper eating habits, etc etc. But beyond that, it’s about setting time limits and goals for the rest of the year. The planning is definitely a work in progress.

Decide: Do I really want to do this? Hell yes I do.

And finally, deal: The questions that people are inevitably going to ask, the lack of support that will be coming from all sides among other things are definitely going to make completing this next year more complicated than I think I can comprehend right now. Motivation is key. Learning to work past the criticism may prove harder than it seems.

Mah, random thoughts from a very tired boy. I think at this point, I’ll call it night.

It’s a new year. Which means new chances. Which means new opportunities. Take them all, good or bad. Happy new years everyone.


About ThatTurnerKid

- Christian (Tyrone) Turner - May 17th, 1988 - Palmdale, CA - Writer - Singer - Filmmaker - Aspiring Photographer - Slacker - Dreamer View all posts by ThatTurnerKid

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